Silent Nights

Two and a half months now, and we've begun sleep training Mui Mui. What is sleep training, you ask? Mommy learned it from a very thick book with lots of words in small print, called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." To sum up the book, sleep training is basically letting your baby cry until they fall asleep. Then they'll get used to not being picked up, and learn to fall asleep on their own. The book advises that sleep training begins after 4 months, but it says if you're a very busy parent, you can begin at two months. Since our toddler keeps us just the right amount of busy to qualify as "very," we began the training a week ago.

It sounds likes such a simple thing to do - let the baby cry until they fall asleep is much easier then pacing the house with her in your arms until she falls asleep. No pins and needles, sore wrists and elbows, back aches, or risking dropping the baby because it's 3 AM and you're falling asleep while standing up. (Just pretend that's in the book and not something I actually experienced.) But when you actually begin sleep training, and hearing your baby cry and scream and wail with more tears than would fill a baby sized sponge, it seems easier to just carry her for just one more hour until she turns into a limp log of pink fuzz and fat in your arms.

After a couple of nights already, she seems to be getting better. First she started falling asleep on her own, usually in an automated swing or vibrating bouncer. Now when she's in her crib, she can cry for ten minutes instead of twenty, but not consistently. But as we learned from sleep training the first one, he now sleeps almost on cue, with no fuss or resistance. The road is hard, but the reward is worth it.

Perhaps it's her holiday gift to us, but last night was the first night she slept for six straight hours. And as I write this entry this Christmas Eve, I would like to wish all you readers out there with our family's rendition of a Christmas classic.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Baby's Firsts (Again)

Needless to say, we've been busy. Two times the babies can mean twice as much fun, four times more work, and half the amount of sleep.

With Mui Mui around, we are reminded again of many of the things we learned the first time around, that we conveniently forgot. I've heard that the painful memories, like childbirth, are actually naturally minimized in the memory, because if people remembered how difficult it is to have a baby, everyone in the world would be a single child. We forgot that newborns don't sleep through the night, have very messy diapers, and can be very loud when they cry.

Mui mui is now six weeks old, which marks a very important milestone. A six week old baby noow sleeps for longer periods than every two hours, so we've just been reminded in the past couple of days how pleasant it is to only have to wake up 2-3 times throughout the night. This means (slightly) easier days for Mommy too, so she can concentrate on the very active 19 month old dinosaur roaming the rooms of our home now, who is eating, growing, and thrashing about for most of the day.

Which leads to a first for Lucasuarus: Yesterday evening, he had his first time out when he refused to eat his dinner.

We ended up sending him to sleep without supper, which is something I've only see done on TV. He woke up exceedingly hungry this morning, of course, so we'll see if he learned his lesson tonight during dinnertime. Oddly, I realized, his time out actually freed us up to do other things, which was rather convenient.

Finding the time to write more is especially challenging during the holidays now, so I hope all you readers had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Our little turkeys are appropriately stuffed, and we're hoping to all get enough sleep to sustain us to the new year.

New Topic

As I mentioned in my last post, we are indeed expecting a new addition to the family. I just figured that i need to keep this blog fresh after 18 months, and what better way than to incorporate a new topic of discussion.

With that said, I'd like to introduce Olivia Song, freshly birthed this past Monday morning, 10/12, at 5:34 AM.She's a little plump at 7 pounds 2 oz., born an ounce heavier than her big brother.

I'm a bit slow thinking right now now to write more, as we were all quickly reminded how new babies have that "must-eat-every-two-hours" rule. Mommy's been extremely tired on a 24 hour basis, while Daddy's been doing double duty during the day watching the original Baby, who is now more appropriately the Big Brother.

The two of them do get along fine so far, which is the most asked question since we've gotten home. We've been trying to get our first Baby used to being around other newborns, but those newborns always get returned to their original owners by the end of the day. But he's yet to exhibit any jealousy so far, and we do our best to spread the attention and hugs equally between babies.

Contraction Reaction

I'm sitting in front of the laptop, recovering from information overload from varying opinions on the whats, whens, and whys of contractions. For all you loyal readers who know me, you already know that Baby is not going to be an only child sometime soon. Seems like it's sooner than we thought, as Mommy is having those pains that hurt enough to keep her from sleeping, and coughing from acid reflux to boot.

What Daddy is trying to figure out is whether the pains are contractions or Braxton Hicks, and neither of us remember anything from this same situation 18 months ago.

What I've pieced together from many inconsistent sources including my own long term memory, which is the most unreliable source of all, are the following facts:

• Contraction pains are in the back, and false labor pains (a.k.a. Braxton Hicks) are in the front
• If they're inconsistent in duration and frequency, they're probably not true contractions yet
• 411 = a way to remember the best time to head to the hospital. 4=contractions less than 4 minutes apart; 1=contractions lasting for one minute; 1=all for at least one hour
• You can't speak a full sentence through true contractions because of the pain

To help with the timing, I found this site called ContractionMaster.com, which is coming in very handy. (Also available as a downloadable application, which is a bit easier than following your wife around with a computer to see when her contractions are beginning and ending.)

While we try to figure this out, here's a little preview of what's to come:

Little Bandit

Baby has this little device called a Snack Trap. It's a cup with a trap door for dry snacks, where you can easily put snacks in and pull them out, but they won't fall out of the cup if it ever gets upended. Within this cup lies the source of Baby's energy: Pepperidge Farm Goldfish.

Legend has it that one day, a tiny thief roamed the land, and the people closest to him called him Little Bandit. Little Bandit's goal between his naps was to fill his round little belly. On one fateful day, Little Bandit saw his quarry in an unattended diaper bag. Knowing his nemesis, the All Seeing Mommy was preoccupied with menial chores, Little Bandit did what he did best, and snuck his chubby fingers into the diaper bag to fish out his own Holy Grail with trap door, swimming with precious Goldfish. When Little Bandit heard the All Seeing Mommy's footsteps growing louder, his instinct told him to stuff his prize back in the bag, as Mommy's untrained skills would not be able to detect such a stealthy deed. But the All Seeing Mommy knows and sees all, which is the only reason that I am able to tell you this story now. And to this day, Mommy has been the only person to ever catch the Little Bandit in the very act that earned him his name.

Be weary of your own Little Bandits, as you can see that training begins at a very early age, so be sure to mind your belongings and snacks around them.

The latest advancements in high speed photography allowed this rare glimpse of the Little Bandit in action.

Know Your Body

Once a baby passes the one year mark, the monthly visits to the pediatrician dwindle down to less frequent visits, to about every 3-6 months. At each of the visits, the doctor always asks us how Baby is doing in terms of milestones, like if he's sitting up by himself, crawling, babbling, or whatever it is babies do when they're supposed to. And we can always say, very proudly, "Of course he does, silly doctor!"

At the 15 month check up, the doctor finally stumped us. The first question was, "Does he speak more than two words?" He can say "ma ma" and "ba ba" (which means "Daddy"), but not really anything else. So two out of three isn't bad, right?And if he doesn't know the difference in meaning between those two words that sound coincidentally similar, does it count? OK, ask us another question, because we're sure he's excelled to a mutant degree in some other area of development... "Can he identify his body parts?" And we confidently replied, "Uh... Silly doctor... um... no." How were we supposed to know that we were supposed to teach him to identify his body parts? We've been teaching him different foods and drinks, toys and books, but not body parts! He's a Baby, not a doctor! He's not pre-med. Nobody told us we needed to teach him body parts now!

As a result, we have now placed him on a strict educational regimen to learn his anatomy. I've documented our progress so far...

Where's your head?

Where's your teeth?

Where's your derrière?

Where's your... pants??

OK, we have a few more months to make some progress...

Water Baby

Swimming was never a strong ability in me, as people would often expect it would be, being that I gre up walking distance from the Coney Island beaches. My mom did enroll me in swim classes at the Y when I was a little boy, but I remember missing the last lesson, which was probably the most important one: how to tread water, i.e. how to survive in a pool of water greater than 5 feet. Ironically, I think I missed the last lesson because we left for a tropical family vacation where I couldn't go in the water because I missed the last lesson.

I know swimming is a very important skill, so I'm determined to make sure my offspring pick this skill up when they're young. Luckily, Auntie's got a big pool, and a whole family of strong swimmers. So while Mommy and Daddy went on a tropical vacation, Baby stayed with pool-equipped family, and Auntie and Uncle were able to introduce Baby to a body of water bigger than his bathtub.

When Baby becomes "Young Child," Daddy (and maybe Mommy) will enroll in Family Swim Classes, so we can all learn to swim at the same time, like those dolphin families I see on those nature shows. At least, that was my intention. After some research I found there seems to be no such thing as "Family Swim Classes;" there are classes for either the child or the parent, but not both. That's probably better off, so my child won't embarrass me when I'm still learning to tread water and he starts taking laps around me. The closest thing I came across was at the New York Y, and although they call it "Parent/Child Swim Classes," it's actually about getting the child comfortable in the water, and at the same time getting the parent comfortable about their child getting comfortable in the water.

I found a couple of interesting sites: InfantSwim.com, and InfantAquatics.com, that both promote "survival swimming," for infants from 6 months of age. I had no idea a baby could swim before they could walk, but check this link out for some pretty amazing pictures and a must-see video at this link. And I thought dolphins were smart.

For now, I'll probably just get some water wings or something similar for Baby, since the closest he's going to get to water is usually his bathtub, or the garden hose.

Gone Away

About a week ago, Mommy and I went on our first vacation since Baby was born. Although we've contemplated about going somewhere with Baby, I opted to arrange this trip without Baby, as Mommy needed a few vacation days after 14 months of hard work at home. We left Baby at Auntie and Uncle's, so I have no crazy Baby traveling stories as I would expect I'd have lots of this time around, and I'll save my stories of lying under palm trees and poolsides in the Caribbean for some other time.

The hardest thing about travelling without the little person you wake up to every morning (asides from Mommy), is trying to not regret that you went travelling without your little person in the first place. Not that we tried to forget, but the resort where we stayed out had so many babies of all ages, and so many child friendly activities, we were always admiring other babies, and thinking how much fun it would have been if Baby came with us. But then again, thinking about getting through the airports and plane rides with an additional baby seat, stroller, bags of supplies, Baby, etc., always appended my first thoughts, so we never regretted anything when we got back. When Baby does get older though, we'll likely go back to the Caribbean so we can all enjoy floating in inner tubes together.

Even this family brought their baby.

By the way, Baby was of course happy to see us when we got back, but all we got was a big smile, and then he promptly turned his back on us because splashing in the pool was definitely more fun than seeing Daddy and Mommy after four days away from us.

"Hey, don't I know you two?!"

One Small Step

Around the one year mark, the biggest milestone for any baby will be when they take their first step. All of the aunts and uncles are always asking, "Is he walking yet?" From a parent's point of view, I believe it's natural to want your child to advance quickly; I'd rather he graduate college in three years rather than four because that will save me a lot of money. Sure it would be nice if he started walking at a year old, but then I always ask myself, "What's the rush?" If I've already baby proofed everything below my knee, walking would just mean more things to be pulled down, or more things for Baby to hit his head into.

Regardless of what anyone hopes for, I've realized progression happens very quickly. Milestones become stepping stones. As soon as Baby started crawling, he was climbing days after that. When he started cruising, he was quickly walking with support.

This past weekend, he started standing on his own.

"Now who's your Daddy?!"

Taking baby steps, we then took Baby for a walk on the Coney Island boardwalk for a test run. (He sat on some gum on the boardwalk during a tumble.)

By dinnertime, he was taking his first steps all by himself, albeit a little wobbly, but taking meter-long walks on his own two feet.

"Do I still need to wear these silly 'sock' things?"

Now Baby has discovered the ultimate form of locomotion, short from getting his driver's license. If we come for a visit, keep your valuables out of reach, since he'll likely grab something off your coffee table, put it in his mouth, and walk away with it now, a.k.a. "eat and run." As parents, we'll have to bring up our endurance levels to keep up with two chubby, rapidly moving legs. But on the bright side, Baby can start bringing Mommy her slippers, and Daddy his beer, if we can get him to walk to us on command.

"I can't wait to do chores for Daddy!*"

* Slightly edited from actual thought

"No" Means... Huh?

With age comes wisdom. When you’re one year old, you have a lot of wisdom to accumulate. Accumulating wisdom to a baby means getting your hands on anything you can reach. With the all that crawling, reaching, and pulling, that inevitably all leads to one necessary thing: discipline.

Discipline is a topic I never thought I'd think about until the day came that I caught my kid stealing money from my wallet.

"If I blend into this couch, maybe Daddy won't see me."

But apparently discipline is something they need to learn much, much earlier on. To keep Baby away from dangerous things, like those pretty bottles under the kitchen sink, or large appliances, requires strict discipline.

Baby is determined to find his missing sock.

If Baby barely understands “da da,” how do you teach a baby “don’t do that or I’ll have to call poison control?” The experts suggest a firm “no” and then physically move him away from the area of offense. The two things I’m observing so far by doing this:

• Pulling Baby away from danger, whether I pick him up or drag him by his legs, both result in fun rides for him, so he may be purposely doing the wrong things just so I drag him away.
• When I relocate Baby, he’s immediately distracted by something else, so when I think he is being disciplined, in reality he probably just forgot, until he does it again the next day

"I'm not supposed to wha- wow, this can is hilarious!"

The professionals say that instead of constantly telling your baby "no," put him in an area where he can't get in trouble, also known as a "yes" area. If you're constantly saying "no" to your child, they will also eventually become desensitized to it, and that all-important word will lose all its meaning.

Baby in his "Maybe" area.

Things to say "no" to:

• Stuffing one's face:

"Harumph mooma!"

• Taking off one's pants and socks and throwing them on the floor when everyone thinks you're sleeping:
  

"I feel so freeeeeee!"

One Year Today

What's today, Baby? You're one year old today!

365 days ago, you came into our lives and we haven't been able to sleep past 7 AM since. Every day was new experience for both you and us, and hopefully you've learned as much from us as we have from you. If there was a happier time in our lives than the day you were born, it would have been the day you first smiled, rolled over, or crawled. And even though Daddy can barely remember when I could lift you without straining a major muscle group, I'm holding onto all our memories from this past year as tightly as I can.

Do you remember when your Goo Ma (that's baby for "Auntie") threw you your first Birthday party? (Thanks, Goo Ma!) All your favorite family was there, and Goo Ma made you a special cake from scratch, with little mice made out of sugar:

...and that was the first cake you ever ate?

And while you were there, you started to climb and conquered your first set of stairs!

Remember how Daddy bought a fancy camera and flash just for taking pictures of you, and you didn't smile once?

This past weekend seemed so long ago, but then again, it seems like you were born not that long ago. But now instead of being a fat little baby swaddled in a blanket, you're getting to be a fat crawling boy in clothes that always seem to fit too tightly. I should probably stop calling you "Baby," but referring to you as "Toddler" just doesn't have as nice of a ring to it. So Happy Birthday, Baby! We love you! Until you learn to talk back, at least.

On The Road Again

There are life experiences that everyone must eventually face, that no one looks forward to. Getting your driver's license, getting married, your first day at a new job... As a parent, one of those experiences is your first trip with your baby. Braver people take their little ones onto planes, but starter parents, like us, opt for wheels over wings. The way I see it, one less cranky baby in an airplane makes one more airplane in the sky a happier place.

Every trip starts with the packing. Mommy's counting diapers and measuring food and formula, matching onesies with socks, while Daddy outfits the stroller to match the weather, and fits all the hardware and accessories into the trunk. We usually leave the house with one diaper bag, one random bag of stuff, a stroller, a booster seat, blankets, and double of anything he's actually wearing. And that's just going out for the day to visit Grandma. This was a four day trip to Boston we were making, which involved basically too many diapers to count, and a separate bag dedicated to food. Luckily, we were visiting friends who were generous enough to lend us their playpenfor Baby to sleep in at night, saving us about a fifth of trunk space. (Thanks, NY!)

"I want my Playpen back in one piece, capiche?"

The things that we found to be the most essential (and convenient) for for this trip were disposable accessories. Not having access to laundry meant every meal could result in a bib covered in a thicker and thicker layer of sweet potatoes and peas after every meal, so a pack of disposable bibssaved a lot of time and trouble. And not being home meant changing him on the go, mostly in public restrooms of shopping centers, so disposable changing padskept him protected from the previous babies who peed on the changing tables before us.

Timing is essential for the drive, when time on the road is in line with his nap time. Keep baby dressed light in the auto, or else you'll be peeling him out of the car seat later. Frequent rest stops are good for both the baby and the parents. And make sure directions are mapped out clearly - getting lost means extra stress, and that car cabin needs to be free of stress to keep you straight on your course and steady on the highway. (This is what I've heard; for the record, I never get lost myself.)

The hotel supplied cribs, which we requested, with the aforementioned playpen as backup. Good thing we had that backup - The "crib" they provided was a collapsible steel trap* on wheels. Apparently, whoever put the crib together hadn't considered gravity, because when we put Baby in it, the bottom fell out. We gave it back to the hotel and unfolded the playpen. In retrospect, sacrificing some trunk space to ensure Baby retains all his limbs is always preferable, so make your own sleeping arrangements when you're on the go.

"I'm on vacation. I get the King bed - YOU take the playpen."

Something else you'll learn by the first night: if you're in a hotel room with your baby, that's the equivalent of you sleeping in his own room at home. He'll see and hear everything you're doing, so if your baby's bedtime is at 6 PM, your bedtime for your vacation is now 6 PM. Since you can't exactly leave your hotel room, if the option is available, you can try to book a multiple room suite so baby's got their own space. Then you can make as much noise as you want watching free cable and crinkling wrappers from $8 candy bars from the mini bar, and your baby can stick to his sleep schedule.

"A bottle of milk delivered to my room for only $12? I don't ever want to go home."

If you decide to take your baby for a trip in the near future, you can follow everything I've written here, but your experience, like your baby, may be entirely different. Regardless, safe travels to you - and lots of luck.

We're talking about taking the next step and hopping on a plane for our next trip... any suggestions on where to go?

*Image courtesy of http://www.bolgernow.com

Safety First

Now that the little bugger is crawling, his hands, feet, and head end up in every nook and cranny, under and behind furniture, and always underfoot. I just installed these "Safe Plates" over my outlets, and used outlet plugs for anything less frequently used. Asides from the outlets, watch out for any loose wires around your home, from circuit breakers to cell phone chargers. For some reason, everyone tells me that wires conduct electricity and attract babies; both facts I can testify to.

So to help keep Baby safe and confined, we usually plop him into his Baby Einstein Activity Center, courtesy of his Auntie. Looking for more creative ways to hold him in place, we've also placed him in this vintage toy that Daddy found in the attic, likely from the 1970's: If Daddy was not blinded by the happy exterior and red button nose, he may have noticed the obvious lack of safety features and high likelihood of being recalled in the 1980's, in what I now call the Happy Accident Ball, which eventually led to: ...which happened when baby tipped over and landed on his face. So we moved on to safer places to keep Baby, like in a fully enclosed swing, which yielded much happier results.
So a few lessons learned over the past couple of weeks:

• Keep those outlets covered and wires out of reach of crawling babies
  
• Play with toys less than a decade old and likely to be approved by the Consumer Product Safety Commission
• Cardboard boxes aren't just great for holding boxes of Girl Scout cookies

Year of the Ox

While doing some research for Chinese New year, I came across this interesting tidbit from Wikipedia:

According to tales and legends, the beginning of Chinese New Year started with the fight against a mythical beast called the Nian or "Year" in Chinese. Nian would come on the first day of New Year to devour livestock, crops, and even villagers, especially children. To protect themselves, the villagers would put food in front of their doors at the beginning of every year. It was believed that after the Nian ate the food they prepared, it wouldn’t attack any more people. One time, people saw that the Nian was scared away by a little child wearing red. The villagers then understood that the Nian was afraid of the color red. Hence, every time when the New Year was about to come, the villagers would hang red lanterns and red spring scrolls on windows and doors. People also used firecrackers to frighten away the Nian. From then on, the Nian never came to the village again. The Nian was eventually captured by Hongjun Laozu, an ancient Taoist monk. The Nian became Hongjun Laozu's mount.


After reading this, we dressed Baby up appropriately to make sure no mythical beasts eat our food.
Here's Baby doing his best Happy Ox imitation:
Those born in the Lunar Year of the Ox (1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009) are regarded as patient people of few words. They are supposedly dependable, tolerant, and hard workers, capable of enduring many hardships. Not unexpectedly, stubbornness is the most dominant negative trait for the Ox.

The Ox is the second animal in the Chinese Zodiac, behind the Rat. In the race to be the first animal of the Zodiac, the Ox took the lead with its determination and strength. Just before it crossed the finish line, the Rat, cunningly riding on the back of the Ox, leaped in front, forcing the Ox to be second in the Zodiac.

There are a few calves in the queue for 2009, and we wish lots of luck (and prosperity) for those expecting soon.

On Hands and Knees

I still get those BabyCenter emails every week, talking about where Baby should be at whatever point in time that I'm reading their chronological baby timelines. What those bits of advice usually do is remind me of how below average Baby is, at least in terms of where he is in his locomotion evolution. An average baby will begin crawling around 8 months. Baby is at about 9 1/2 months, and has the strength, the poise, and the form, but he still doesn't know how to move his legs to propel his tubby body forward. He can go in reverse, and turn left and right on a dime, but this model seems to lack any forward acceleration.

Until last Thursday, that is, when I get a phone call at the office from Mommy to report that Baby is finally crawling...

What, no touch screen or 3G support?

Yes, it took some time a little beyond the "average" for him to hit the rug on all fours, but as a parent, always keep in mind that everything about babies is about averages and percentiles, and no number can be concretely tied to development or growth. Where Baby was at the lower end of the spectrum for crawling, we met a baby girl who was walking at 6 months. (The average age for walking is one year.) Baby is 50th percentile in weight, but he's wearing clothes for a two year old. Don't let emails, books, charts, and averages worry you too much - they're just guidelines, and just like adults, every baby will be different.

I'm hoping the average age a baby can hold a game controller is coming up soon.

Tossing and Turning

When he was a wee lad, Baby would lay down to sleep, first on his back, then eventually flipping on his tummy. Life was simple back then. Now he's getting bigger, stronger, and faster, and he's no longer content with just two sleeping positions. Now he can sit up, spin around, scoot, lay down, and repeat. His crib is more playmat than mattress.

While I'm in the office, I keep an eye on Baby by using a webcam and connecting to him with an online conference call. What I typically see within the first 20 minutes of a nap for Baby now looks like this:

If you want to set up a monitoring system to watch your little insomniac, you'll need the following:

• Computer in baby's room
• Webcam
• Video chat software

I purchased an Acer Aspire One Netbook to keep in Baby's room and hook the camera up to. It's got a 9" screen and weighs under 2 pounds, so it doesn't take up too much space. The small size and keyboard will also make typing easier for Baby, so he can document his own adventures one day.

The webcam you choose doesn't need to be anything complex, but should perform well in low light. Unfortunately, that's not really a number you can determine in the camera's specs, so you may have to experiment until you find one that works well in the lighting conditions of your baby's room. The webcam I use is a Microsoft LifeCam NX-6000 Webcam, and a non-Microsoft rubber band to attach it to the slats at the foot of the crib. The higher the placement of the camera the better, to keep your baby from reaching it. Note that this (and likely other Microsoft brand cameras) require Windows XP or later, with Service Pack 2.

Finally, some sort of program or software that lets you use it all. After doing a lot of research online, I settled with Tokbox. Tokbox is a site that lets you do video chat, video mail, and video conferencing without any software downloads and completely for free. Not having to have to download anything was important, so I could more easily share videos with anyone who wants to see Baby by just sending a link. This company has only been around since 2007, so there are some kinks to work out on their site, but it works pretty well for the most part.

And now you can spy on stalk monitor anyone! If you have any questions on how any of this stuff works or need a recommendation, just leave a comment and I'd be glad to assist.