Safety Precaution

It's bound to happen, but you'll never know when it'll happen, and you never think of preparing for it until it happens. It's during the diaper change for the average baby boy, there's the seemingly slim chance that he will urinate uncontrollably in some random direction when his diaper is off. On his shirt, on your shirt, on the floor, on the ceiling, etc. The first time it happened to us, we didn't notice until the pee was dripping down his cheeks - that's face cheeks, not butt cheeks. And when you first notice your baby has peed on his face, it's a feeling of funny, because you've never known anyone who has ever peed on their own face, and panic because urine is getting everywhere like a sprinkler shooting yellow water. So parent-reaction time is cut in half, as it's hard to be nimble with baby wipes when your vision is blurred from your own tears of laughter.

There's no life lesson for this post, except to be prepared when you open that diaper, with super absorbent towels and safety goggles. And I wanted to document this for when my baby becomes a teen, and I need to have some leverage as a dad.

Running Late

I returned to the office yesterday from my paternity leave, and purposely tried to go in a little early. Regardless of how early I got up, I would have still gotten caught before I was out the door with unexpected fatherly duties. My boy needed a clean diaper and a new outfit. So I'm out the door 20 minutes later than intended, but I was still "early." The morning of my second day of work, I'm dressed in my business casual attire, giving him a sponge bath. (I make it to work sort of on time.) While still on paternity leave, we were late for every doctor appointment we had by a minimum of 15 minutes.

Now I've had to meet people with kids for lunches or dinners or whatever, and those people are almost always late, and they simply shrug and blame their kids, with a "You know how it is." And being a fairly punctual person, I always think, "No, I don't know how it is! Take responsibility! Don't blame your kid! You should have left your house earlier! Now buy me a beer!"

Now I see what the punctually challenged parents have to go through. No matter how early you start, how much you prepare, something can always come up to halt you at the door. And to address your baby's need right away, knowing you're leaving your impatient friends waiting, is being a responsible parent. So keep this in mind if you need to meet someone with a kid. Punctuality and parenting are not mutual companions.

"I'm twenty minutes late for my feeding."

Growing Boy

Taking care of a baby is pretty easy. All this newborn does is sleep, wakes up for a diaper change and feeding, and falls back asleep while feeding. So don't believe anyone who says otherwise. After all, I have a whole week and a half of fathering experience, so who better to believe than me?

I would have believed that, until we hit Day 10. Now, this kid no longer wants to sleep. His eyes are wide open after a feeding, and I have no idea what to do with him. He can't watch TV with me, because he can't focus his eyes more than 6 inches in front of him. He can't play video games with me, because he isn't strong enough to hold a game controller. He can't wrestle with me, since he hasn't learned how to walk yet. And he's not old enough to drink with me. But it seems like he he wants to keep feeding... which is not normal.

Bringing him home from the hospital, he would drink two ounces of milk, every two to three hours. Since then, he's upped his intake to three ounces. Now, all of a sudden, we can't even keep track - he just wants more and more. And he won't sleep until he gets it.

A little bewildered, we deduce that this is beyond even my own endless well of baby wisdom. We start flipping through all the books, guides, and manuals we own. In my "The Baby Owner's Manual," I find the following snippet which I've never heard of before:

Growth Spurt Waking: Most models experience growth spurts (a sudden increase in body mass) at the ages of 10 days, 3 weeks, 6 months, 3 months, and 6 months.During these spurts, the baby may be restless at night,and his appetite may increase, especially during the night. These spurts, which can last up to 72 hours, are an essential part of the baby's growth, and there is little the user can do to change them. Feed the baby as necessary, then re-activate sleep mode.

Now that makes perfect sense. Keep eating kiddo, and we'll try wrestling again at 3 weeks.

AA Baby

Of all the baby advice I've heard, from books, medical professionals, family, and friends, not one person warned me of the fact that babies run on AA batteries. My boy's bouncer, his bath with mounted shower spray, his playpen with nightlight and music, his wireless video game controller (kidding), and his mobile:

Everything that makes him calmer via movement, light, or sound requires a AA battery. So along with the diapers and wipes, be sure to stock up on those little cells of electricity for your new bundle of energy. Try Batteries.com for good deals on battery bundles. And since everything of any sort of entertaining value for the modern baby will require those batteries, start saving with this $5 coupon at Toy 'R' Us, here (only valid for this Friday and Saturday).

Or start early and teach them how much fun some assorted sticks and rocks can be.

Laundry Day - Again

Marvel, at our European designed triple tiered drying rack, wrapped in rust proof epoxy coated steel, providing 13 square feet of efficient, air-circulating drying pace.

Behold, the same drying rack, three days after being home with a baby.

This baby has more accessories than my old G.I Joe toys. Bibs, booties, blankies, onesies, mittens, socks, burp cloths, layettes, sleepers, sheets... in addition to the adult towels and washcloths he uses. Plus the clothes that mommy and daddy wear that the little volcano will unexpectedly erupt on. I've learned to carry a burp cloth in a quick-draw hip holster for emergiencies.

"Who, me?"

Yes, you know very well that you spit up on that shirt and peed through your pants onto that blanket ten minutes after we changed you into your third outfit for the day.

Ironically, we haven't hit the laundromat yet to wash our own clothes. It's a good thing I'm not leaving the house for another week...

Hard Knock Life

As I lay him down to sleep, I notice he's kicking and furrowing the brow a little bit more than usual.
In less than a week, he was ejected from a womb, circumcised, got two shots, and thrown naked on a scale. Today, we visited the pediatrician, who pricked his foot and squeezed out a vial of baby blood for testing. I've never seen him cry harder than today. (Although I imagine he cried pretty hard during the circumcision.) As I'm typing this out, I'm hearing nervous little peeps coming from the crib. This kid has gone through some rough times at five days old. I felt bad for pregnant women before, but I feel nearly as bad for newborn babies now.

Smiley Face

We always wonder if babies dream, and if they do, what do they dream about? We haven't seen our li'l one smile yet while he's awake, but he will occasionally furrow his brow, or pull of one of these while sleeping:

At four days old, what dream is worth smiling for more than a clean diaper and all-you-can-drink milk?

Open Late

Three nights, ten diapers, and dozens of baby wipes later, baby is finally home from the hospital. Wifey and I are taking sleeping shifts, as we are learning together what to do and not to do, and quickly discover that we probably don't need to be taking sleeping shifts.

He's an expressive sleeper... grimacing, yawning, and occasionally smiling. He'll wave his arms about, and scratched his own face a couple of times (which led to a mani - actually, a babyicure at 2 AM.) And he does this pirate thing where he opens up one eye only to glare at you. Here he is after feeding time, at 2:30 AM:

I hope I'm doing that in an hour or two...

Baby Born

I can finally stop posting pics of other babies, since I now have one of my own. Welcome our new li'l boy, Lucas:

Born April 7th, 4:32 PM. Congratulations to my office pool winner, Dan B, who guessed his weight at 7 pounds 1 ounce. (And for the record, he's 20 and 1/4 inches.)

After a very long day witnessing a baby pop out of wifey, and changing said baby's first diaper, this dad is pooped (no pun intended). Will write more of the very sudden days leading up to his new birthday after some sleep...

Big Baby

My co-workers put together a pool to guess my future baby's weight. They have boxes from 6 to 8 pounds and corresponding ounces, and the winner is the one who guesses the closest.

For that baby weight office pool in Jilin, China, there must have been a lot of boxes to fill for this baby:

Those boxes would have to have surpassed 40 pounds for a winner. Actually, this picture was taken when this beast of a boy was at 8 months - he was an average 7-pounder at birth. Full story and more pics here.

Coming Soon

The doctor expects wifey to deliver within the next two weeks. That's a little ahead of schedule, but at this point, a speedy delivery will probably be appreciated. The little guy is squirming around quite a bit in there, and everything from his head to his butt is taking up valuable real estate, pressuring organs and other necessary body parts. Every time he moves, it is now highly visible and somewhat painful.

My sister-in-law was told she would deliver early, but ended up delivering a few days past her due date. According to The Expectant Father, "couples who think they are late really aren't." The due date is "a ballpark figure based on an assumed 28-day menstrual cycle, and there's always a window of plus or minus two weeks." From What to Expect... "70% of post-term (late) pregnancies are due to miscalculations of the time of conception." And my co-worker's theory: "Boys deliver late because they're lazy and like to stay inside." That theory actually makes the most sense of all.