Reading, Writing, and Nausea

We attended our birthing class this past weekend. It wasn't at all what I pictured in my mind, from all the TV shows and movies starring pretend-pregnant people. Mom doesn't sit on a floor mat practicing breathing while dad is kneeled next to her for encouragement. (Apparently those are Lamaze classes.) Instead, we all sit in chairs, listen to a teacher, watch videos, and thumb through a workbook, just like in any other 7 hour class. Additionally, the dads don't kneel, but sit slouched in their chairs, turning various shades of red and white. The moms amuse themselves at the dads' discomfort. And the motivation for staying awake in class: a VHS tape showing live births of the 1970's.

We watched the heart tugging and stomach turning stories of several different couples. It was a time when men wore tight shirts and the women donned permed hair - they boldly revealed to the camera their varied experiences of day long labor and the methods they used to cope with it. Topics ranged from choice of painkiller to physical pushing positions. In between interviews, the tape also featured full frontal nudity, as I winced my way through four live births. Each baby I witnessed that burst forth from a loin made me progressively less queasy, and I was actually a bit desensitized by the fourth one. Then they announced the last birth story was a Cesarean, and that's when I felt all the blood rush out of my head again. Luckily for me, they omitted most of the graphic details.

At the end of the class, I learned about mucous plugs and the bloody show (which I am not linking to), Braxton Hicks (a.k.a. false labor), and many assorted numbing medications which I would have gladly volunteered to subject myself to before this class had I known what I was going to see. All in all, very informative, buy not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. To sum it up, labor and childbirth is vastly different for every woman, and from this point on, anything can happen, so I'd better have my bags ready for the hospital.

Only 6 weeks left to go; then I have to find the After Your Baby is Born class.

Heavy Up

The latest sonnagram we had weighed the baby in at 4.9 pounds (give or take half a pound). A baby gains weight at the rate of about a half a pound a week in the last couple of months of pregnancy. With less than two months left to go, I'm afraid that the baby will be like 12 pounds. (OK, it should be about 8 pounds, if I do the math correctly, and not like I did in college.)

BabyCenter.com offers an amusing slide show of the baby's development compared to produce; according to that, he's about the size of a pineapple right now. (Now that would be painful.)

Even at 8 pounds, that's just a fraction of the weight of the world's biggest baby, who was born at 28 pounds, 4 ounces. And on a related note, the world record for the most children took place in Russia, where a woman was pregnant 27 times and gave birth to 69 children between 1725 and 1765. I don't imagine she got very much sleep...

Almost Done

The other day, just like one of those pop-up timers, wifey's belly button popped out. It's weird to see what was once on the inside suddenly turn itself out. Of course that doesn't compare to what was a flat tummy a few months ago to the little guy in there now, three pounds strong and visibly moving. Her protruding belly keeps her from seeing anything below the belly button - we needed to maneuver a mirror for her to see her new outie. She also can't really reach her feet too easily, which makes wearing socks and tying shoes challenging. (Long handled shoe hornsare a pregnant woman's best friend at this stage.)

We also learned at the doctor today that the average baby birth weight of 6-7 pounds is a bit of a myth. The ideal baby weight really depends on the size of the mother. In the last few weeks of pregnancy, the baby increases at about half a pound every week. In our case, we should expect the baby to be under 6 pounds at birth, for the sake of the mom. If I was the one giving birth, my baby would likely be the size of that turkey with the timer in it.

Pushing It

Have you ever thought you knew what you wanted, then when you went to look for it, you had so many choices that you totally didn't know what you were looking for anymore? This is what I felt every weekend for the past three weeks... and all I'm doing is looking for a baby stroller with:

• Leather interior, for luxurious baby comfort
• Spoiler for faster and more stable pushing
• 10" rims with spinners for pulling up to grandma's in style
• Neon effects kit (baby blue neon) to impress on night strolls
• Insulated cup holder for my beer ("daddy juice")
• Alarm for when I neglect to lock the stroller and leave the baby unattended (just kidding - I would never neglect to lock the stroller)

Instead I'm finding models that can seat three:
To... actually, I don't even know what this is:
I've learned that strollers fall into several categories:

• Umbrella strollers - lightweight, foldable like an umbrella, with multiple pinch points where your fingers and foot can get trapped in while folding. Look for stain resistant fabrics so you can easily wipe your blood off of them.
• Lightweight strollers - these fall between 9 and 12 pounds, and the absolute lightest stroller category. They're so light, they feel like they're made out of popsicle sticks and string. Reviews I've read don't really stress their durability; they last about as long as if they were made with popsicle sticks and string.
• Jogging strollers - the 3-wheeled strollers you see people running with on long trails. These strollers can reach speeds of 15 MPH. If I owned one of these, I would tie it to a treadmill and have it push itself. And if a stroller can be pushed that fast, why doesn't it just have its own gas engine?
• All-Terrain Strollers - strollers with big, air-filled tires (I saw some made by Jeep) that can roll over anything. That's a great idea; let's take baby on some mountainous terrain. I'm sure those rocky crags and heavy boulders are child-friendly.
• Travel Systems - Now this is what I thought I wanted. A travel system allows your car seat to snap into your stroller, so it's like having two essential transportation products in one. Unfortunately, these can weigh up to 30 pounds. Strap a baby in, and add an additional 10 pounds. If something's this heavy, I'd probably end up towing it with a pack animal than actually being able to pick it up.

With so many choices to choose from, it all comes down to what you're going to do most with baby, where and how you're going to travel with them, and what goes well with your outfit. Some small details to look out for which became deciding factors to some folks I've talked to:

• Basket size and extra storage space - you're going to need an extra hand, and no better way than a stroller that can double as a shopping cart
• Adjustable height of handles - consider the height differences of who will push the stroller around
• Reclining angle - can your baby lay back far enough that their head isn't falling out of the seat when they doze off?
• Sun shade - if the sun keeps your baby from sleeping, you're going to have a cranky baby
• Rain cover - if the stroller doesn't come with rain protection, make sure you pick one up under separate cover (no pun intended)
  
• Wheels - some wheels are better suited for sidewalks, some for marble museum floors

A couple of good online resources I found:

• Baby-Gaga.com - very extensive stroller reviews, with precise filtering options to help narrow down exactly what you need. They don't have some more recent models I've seen in-store, but have similar models from the same manufacturers, so you get a close second in most cases.
• About.com - numerous articles on strollers, including top-ten lists and videos, and answers to many common questions.
  

And when you've finally decided, you can check out Strollers.com for the final purchase. I haven't purchased from them personally so I'm not endorsing their site, but it's put together well with easy navigation and category refinement. Each stroller has manufacturer's details, specifications, and multiple pictures. The only thing lacking are consumer reviews - not that they don't offer them, they just don't seem to have too many customers submitting reviews. As a retailer, they have a 100% price match guarantee, and an in-your-face customer service number, which is a good sign they stand behind their sales.

As for me, I'll be going on my fourth stroller test drive sometime this week. I foresee myself being so desperate, that I'll end up buying any stroller with a calfskin leather interior by then.

Strange Bedfellow

For the past month, I've had a new sleeping partner. It's big and white and fluffy...
and shaped like this:
And takes up one-third of the bed...
It's a Body Pillow!
Actual size:
(That's an adult in that picture, by the way.)

Why would anyone need a pillow that big you ask? Because it helps to support the fifteen extra pounds protruding out of anyone's pregnant belly. A common question for pregnant people: What's the best sleeping position? The answer from BabyCenter.com:

Although there's no real harm in sleeping on your right side, lying on your left side is actually good for you and your baby: It improves the flow of blood and nutrients to the placenta and it helps your kidneys efficiently eliminate waste products and fluids from your body.

During the second half of pregnancy, avoid sleeping on your back, a position that puts the full weight of your uterus on your spine, back muscles, intestines, and the inferior vena cava (the vein that transports blood from your lower body to the heart).

Wifey's used to sleeping on her back, so sleeping on her side took some getting used to. Strangely enough, when she lies on her right side, the baby starts to kick and prevents her from sleeping. When she shifts to her left side, he calms down. The little guy must be reading articles from BabyCenter too.

Growing Pains

A few days ago, wifey was getting some abdominal pains. Pains usually come and go, but this one was lasting for quite a while. Pain relief can't come in a bottle for pregnant women, so we had to open up a book for some advice. The answer in this case came from the essential "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

"I'm very worried about the abdominal pains I've been getting on the sides of my pelvis.

"What you are feeling is probably the stretching of muscles and ligaments supporting the uterus - something most pregnant women experience.The discomfort may be crampy or sharp and stabbing... may be brief or may last for several hours. As long as the pain is occasional and not persistent there's no cause for concern. Getting off your feet and resting in a comfortable position should bring some relief."

At the sixth month, it's good to know that pain wasn't anything serious. If you're the male half in this situation, do what you can to prop her up with pillows to find the ideal position for her, that minimizes stretching of her abdominal area. Sitting up in bed was helpful, in this case. But don't say "I know what you're going through." She probably won't buy that.

Happy Baby New Year

Happy New Year!

Since this blog is about babies, and it's the New Year, it's only appropriate that we explore that phenomenon known as "Baby New Year."

In modern times, you'll hear the first baby born past the stroke of midnight to be the Baby New Year. In ancient Greece, a baby was paraded around in a basket during the New Year in festival devoted to the god of wine. The Germans upheld the image of a diapered baby New Year and brought it over to America in the 14th Century. In the 70's, a giant-eared Baby New Year, named "Happy," was captured in glorious stop-motion, chased by a vulture and rescued by Rudolph:And just last year, Baby New Year became a hoax virus.

I foresee 2008 to be a year of much learning and new experiences. I hope it brings for you as many new surprises as it does for us! But with less drool and poo.