Make Room at the Table

As the holidays approach, I'm being reminded that this will be the last year that we will have sans baby. Definitely not a bad thing, but it puts the reality of the whole fatherhood thing into a sharper perspective. Next year, we'll be visiting family with a diaper bag over the shoulder, car seat locked down in the back, and baby in tow. We're used to just bringing over some Italian cookies.

So for this Thanksgiving, we'll just have a bun in the oven. By this time next year, we'll need an extra table setting with baby-safe flatware, and a high chair. (And maybe some extra wine on the table for daddy.) Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Baby Food

One of my favorite resources for soon-to-be baby information is BabyCenter.com. Since signing up, they shoot over a weekly baby progress report every Sunday, letting us know what stage of development the little tyke is at. They always compare the size of the kid to something edible, which probably helps the male parent better relate.

• Week 5: sesame seed
• Week 6: lentil bean
• Week 7: raspberry
• Week 8: kidney bean
• Week 9: grape
• Week 10: kumquat
• Week 11: fig
• Week 12: lime
• Week 13: deep fried, beer battered jumbo shrimp (slightly exaggerating)
• Week 14: lemon
• Week 16: avocado
• Week 17: turnip

If you're seeking an informative and eye-opening source of weekly info, take a look at BabyCenter.com.

I'm looking forward to when I get the email telling me my kid is the size of a foot long meatball parmigiana hero. I'm sure wifey would prefer it to not be too close to a watermelon.

Half the Man I Used To Be

Here's a new vocabulary word: couvade. "90 percent of expectant American fathers experience couvade syndrome (from the French word meaning 'to hatch'), or 'sympathetic pregnancy.'"¹ Symptoms usually appear after the first trimester (which is about that time for me now...), and include common pregnancy ailments, such as food cravings, mood swings, and nausea. (If pregnancy is not involved, I call these symptoms "hangovers.")

Just last week, I was in the mood for dessert after dinner (who isn't?), was very happy when I got it (who wouldn't be?), and ended the night with nausea and a bad stomach ache a couple of hours later from dessert. Couvade or just a bad Napoleon?

Whether I end up experiencing couvade or not, if you can imagine a hangover without drinking, and nausea without over eating, then that is what I imagine being pregnant to be. (And that's only during the first half of the pregnancy.) That's certainly enough for my sympathy.

¹ Taken from The Expectant Father, by A. A. Brott and J. Ash

Mum's The Word

So what took so long to share the news? Tradition (I don't know whose) dictates that the expectant couple remain mum (no pun intended) about a bun in the oven for the first three months due to risk of complications. As the dad-to-be, that's a harrowing three months - part optimistic disbelief to think that you'll be a dad, and part pessimistic doubt, thinking something will likely go wrong. 80% of miscarriages happen within the first 12 weeks, so once you get past that point and the baby-to-be has a strong, detectable heartbeat, you're in pretty good shape. So even though I wanted to tell the world about this months ago, I can finally say it now with more pride than hesitation: I got me a baby comin'!

Preggeration: Confirmed

Three and a half months later, I can finally share with new and old readers... Wifey is preggers. Yes, it was planned (which I'm asked half the time), and yes, I am excited (which I'm asked the other half of the time).

It was a bit of a shock when the pregnancy test actually turned out positive, that day on August 19th. Especially due to the fact that the expiration date on the box was August 31st. The second test kit we bought (expiration date was in 2008) also resulted in a positive. Even then I was in denial because I went cheap and bought the Duane Reade brand pregnancy test.

From what I've read, denial wasn't a common symptom of discovering you were going to have a baby. (But fear was.) And the only reason I was in denial, or maybe "disbelief" would be a more accurate description, was that I just had a hard time grasping that something this big was finally happening. The perfect example of something too good to be true.

Regarding the test though, we've been told that you can have a false negative, but you can't have a false positive. I guess that rule would even apply to expired, no-frills generic pregnancy tests. So whether it's a plus sign or two lines versus one, if the test says you're pregnant, they're probably as advertised: over 99% accurate.